Mommy, I have a feeling I have never felt before. It’s excitement, and joy, and anger that you never brought me here before, and unbelievability that something this beautiful can exist.
A nine-year-old girl arriving in Venice, Italy
Lawrence Cohen – The Opposite of Worry
We’ve been home for a week after a long-awaited break, and I am still lingering in vacation mode. Here are some tips and tricks my husband and I use to make a family vacation enjoyable.
Pre-Vacation Planning
Learn from Previous Holidays
After a few disappointing holidays, we realized we needed to identify our travel patterns or preferences, such as our favourite type of accommodations, activities, the pace of travel, etc., noting the highs and lows. What works best for us is to plan at least a few days of no activities, no hurrying, nothing but just staying in a slow rhythm. Otherwise, we need another vacation to recover.
Discovering New Destinations
Family travel blogs, online forums, social media groups, or fellow travellers are all great examples of obtaining valuable insights, tips, and destination recommendations tailored to families. Creating a family wishlist where all members, especially children, are included ensures that our future trips will cater to everyone’s interests.
Here are some blogs and groups I follow:
Familia HaiHui (Romanian)
Mama Loves Italy (here are two examples of itineraries that I put on my travel wishlist: Six days in Rome with kids and How to see Venice Florence and Rome in 10 days with kids)
Mums on the Run Facebook group for parents living in Ireland
Travel Babboo with a tour idea that is on my wishlist
The subreddit TravelNoPics with an epic guide to Switzerland
Zig Zag on Earth with an immense collection of detailed itineraries
If you plan to visit Ireland, our current residence country, these are some blogs I thoroughly recommend: Mama Loves Ireland, Visit Dublin, Ireland.com, and above all, the magnificent The Irish Road Trip.
Researching the Destination
So far, we have only had direct flights to our vacation destinations to minimize layovers and the risk of missed connections. As our daughter became older, we tried to involve her in the decision-making process, showing her pictures of places to visit, telling her about possible activities, what the plan should look like in a day, etc.
Once my daughter knows how to use a search engine in a few years, I will ask her to research and choose activities and restaurants for all three of us based on prices, reviews, distance, transport options, etc.
Consider Accommodation Needs
Accommodation preferences and needs will vary from family to family: camping sites, farm stays, all-inclusive, hostels, rentals, etc., as we need to consider factors such as budget, desire to cook while on vacation, space, and the availability of local markets and restaurants. Are family-friendly amenities nearby, such as kid-friendly pools, play areas, age-appropriate activities, etc.? What about the safety measures of the accommodation (smoke detectors, fire exits, security systems)? Is the area safe for a family to explore?
Before booking accommodation, we comb through other families’ reviews, looking for comments about cleanliness, noise level, or customer service to get a general idea about that place.
Many families have found that renting a home or apartment through services like Airbnb or VRBO provides more space, privacy, and flexibility than staying in a hotel. It also allows for meal preparation, saving money and catering to dietary restrictions. However, the ethics of using such services can be a contentious issue. They have also been criticized for contributing to gentrification, housing shortages, and other negative impacts on local communities.
Unfortunately, Dublin, the city we live in, is a perfect negative example of this situation. As of the date of writing this article (April 2023), the go-to website to rent long-term, daft.ie, shows 587 available to rent. Dublin holiday rentals available on Airbnb are over 1,000. The current homelessness crisis in Ireland has, no doubt, various reasons, but having more holiday rentals than long-term lets doesn’t help local communities.
Travel Apps
After researching journey options (flights, car, trains, etc.) and accommodations, the next step is to look into age-appropriate activities and attractions. We discovered early on that we must be prepared to adjust our plans based on our daughter’s energy levels, mood, or interests. Unexpected events can happen, so maintaining a sense of humour and a positive attitude is crucial.
There are a few travel applications for families to keep everyone on the same page with the travel schedule and essential information. So far, Google Travel has been enough for our needs. Another application we use is Google Translate to see translations in real-time:
Packing Tips
Our biggest tip is to roll our clothes and put them in packing cubes, saving precious spaces in suitcases and keeping items organized and accessible. For our daughter, we have more than enough outfits to last for the entire holiday (t-shirts, vests, shorts, pyjamas, socks, pairs of underwear), and we try to involve her in packing her stuff to help her get excited. For families with more children, a packing list for each child and colour-coded packing cubes would help.
We keep handy a complete change of clothes for my daughter and spare shirts for us in case of accidents during our journey. A first aid kit (thermometer, Calpol and Ibuprofen, band-aids, hand sanitizing wipes, burn gel, Stugeron for motion sickness, etc.) is always in my hand luggage. We also pack enough snacks to keep tummies happy.
A comprehensive list of sea holidays is in this article from madeline.ro (Romanian) with an English translation here.
Travel Babbo has an excellent pre-travel checklist article here.
We created and shared between us our Google Keep list for packing, listing everything we needed (be it a short trip, summer holiday, rain essentials, winter gear and so on). When a holiday approaches, from this list, we select to check and uncheck only what makes sense to bring with us on that vacation. After this, as we pack, we cross things from the list.
Some items from our list:
Travel papers (IDs, accommodation papers, driving license, travel insurance, and ensure we have our documents as copies in our Dropbox and 1Password accounts).
Money, cash and cards
Phones, chargers, kindles, tablets, headphones, external batteries, plug adapters. Sometimes we also take our laptops.
Snacks and water for the road
Spare change of clothes
Sunglasses, hats, scarves
First-aid kit
If necessary: A list of the family’s medications, allergies, and medical conditions, as well as the healthcare provider’s contact information, in case of emergencies.
Toys and books
Neck pillows
Clothes in packing cubes
Essential cosmetics and grooming tools (brushes, toothpaste, bath toiletries, hairbrushes, SPF, insect repellents, oil cleansers)
Small board games to play in the evenings or while we wait in restaurants (Rat-a-Tat Cat, or puzzles such as this or this).
Reusable water bottles
A reusable shopping bag for groceries, souvenirs, or beach trips
When our daughter was younger, we took our Manduca, a baby carrier. We also used to pack a folding stroller (Maclaren Quest was excellent for our needs – I bought one because of this article). Our daughter’s hand luggage is Trunki, a travel backpack that doubles as a booster seat we use for travel taxi rides. She packs in Trunki everything she needs to keep herself entertained on journeys. Also, if she is tired of long airport waits, she can easily sit on it.
We have some excellent cooler bags from Decathlon (a backpack and a cooler) for road trips. We usually use just one item, the backpack in case of hiking near Dublin and the coolers for longer road trips.
Tips for Staying Comfortable and Organized During the Journey
Before leaving the house, we go over the Google Keep list, and I read aloud all the items while pointing and checking where they are in our luggage. This is a tip I applied from my RAIN article (the pointing and calling safety system). I noticed that my daughter stays quiet, watching our moves intently, and I hope she will internalize this “pre-flight checklist” by the time she plans her own trips. Reading aloud from our checklist also calms my anxieties.
We usually dress in layers to adapt to varying temperatures. We also bring neck pillows and a small soft toy for added comfort for our daughter.
On planes, we book an entire row for the three of us, and we take our shoes off, trying to make fists with our toes. We didn’t try yet the advice John McLean got in Die Hard:
“You want to know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you’re going, take off your shoes and socks. Then you walk around on the rug barefoot and make fists with your toes. I know, it sounds crazy. Trust me, I’ve been doing it for nine years. Yes, sir! Better than a shower and a hot cup of coffee.”
Child-sized headphones, a tablet with age-appropriate games or TV shows, “busy bags” with books, games, colouring supplies, snacks, water, and lollipops during takeoff and landing help my daughter enjoy longer journeys.
After security checks, I apply the same tip of pointing and calling as we take our items from the trays. When a tray is empty, I call my daughter and ask her to confirm that it is empty before we hand it back to security agents.
In case of delays or other unexpected trip events, it could help to have a backup plan (e.g., alternative research routes or accommodation options), have extra snacks or use the spare time to explore surroundings or engage in spontaneous family activities.
All parents have met at some point with the dreaded “are we there yet?” Showing pictures or videos of what sights are on the journey ahead can help.
When travelling or commuting—be it by car, train, or bike—we go through a strange time warp with the trip there feeling longer than the trip back.
Our brains are unreliable stopwatches, unconsciously piecing together clues to “guesstimate” the passage of time. Familiar sights and sounds are deemed unworthy of wasting precious brain power over, so humdrum routes such as daily commutes generally get squashed in our memory banks and feel shorter than they really are.
On the other hand, the very first trip to somewhere new will feel much longer than the same trip taken at a later time, simply because new experiences are remembered better—which is why children often complain (“Are we there yet?”) when stuck in the backseat of a long car trip but rarely say a peep on the way back.
Stuart Farrimond – The Science of Living
Enjoying the Destination
Kids can only sometimes keep up with an adult pace. Scheduling downtime and breaks to prevent meltdowns or jet lag is a must that allows kids to recharge and enjoy the trip without feeling overwhelmed. When our daughter was younger, we planned the vacation activities around her nap schedule.
We try to maintain the same routines for sleep and meals but with an added spontaneity or flexibility factor to better adapt to unexpected situations or opportunities.
Capture Memories
On the first vacation days, we buy postcards, and we write, draw, or sketch a trip journal on the back of them. At home, we have a special box where we collect them; going over these postcards makes a pleasant activity. I can’t say we do this for every trip, but it is a lovely way to document a journey. Other ideas could be to have a travel sketchbook or a scrapbook to collect small souvenirs, postcards, tickets, etc.
We give our daughter a souvenir budget, allowing her to decide how to spend it. Somehow, she handles impulse purchases better when she knows the money comes from her pocket.
While looking for souvenirs, I buy trinkets that will become our Christmas or holiday decorations. I especially hold dear a small lace carriage souvenir from Bruges that makes a whimsical tree decoration.
Prioritize Safety
Before any trip, we discuss and establish ground rules with our daughter, such as not wandering off, respecting local customs, and following safety guidelines (staying close to us in crowded areas and avoiding sharing personal information with others). I recommend If I Get Lost: Stay Put, Remain Calm, and Ask for Help by Dagmar Geisler, and you can watch a reading here:
In short, here are some steps to teach kids what to do if they get lost:
First rule of being lost: keep still and shout! If there’s something on which you can stand a little bit higher, climb on it and yell!
It’s best not to move from that spot, so your parents can better find you.
Dagmar Geisler – If I Get Lost: Stay Put, Remain Calm, and Ask for Help
Once they notice they’re lost, kids should stop and stay where they are. This makes it easier for parents to find them.
Stay calm, as panic can make the situation worse.
Identify a safe adult, such as a police officer, security guard, or a parent with children. Kids can ask these individuals for help.
Memorize contact information: Ensure children know their full names, parents’ full names, and contact details, including phone numbers and addresses.
Other safety techniques are establishing a meeting point in case family members get separated in crowded areas and using walkie-talkies, GPS tracking devices, child locator apps or phones to keep tabs. It is recommended to have an ID necklace or any card that includes the hotel’s name, address, phone number and parents’ phone number for added security.
Responsible Tourism
Learning a few phrases in the local language can show respect and interest.
Kid-friendly tours or activities are a great way to learn more about our destination. They can provide valuable insights, history, and interesting anecdotes, making the experience more enjoyable and educational for the whole family.
Choosing locally-owned accommodations, restaurants, and shops support the local economy and community. We visit markets and convenience stores at every destination to immerse ourselves in the local culture.
Children are never too young to learn about leaving no trace behind while visiting natural or cultural sites by not littering, picking flowers, or disturbing wildlife.
We try to opt for public transportation or walking to reduce our carbon footprint and immerse ourselves in the local culture.
We have yet to engage in any animal-related tourism activities. Still, we will first research the ethical implications of such activities and choose experiences prioritizing animal welfare and conservation.
We minimize the use of mini toiletries in hotels since these are single-use, non-recyclable plastics by bringing our shampoo or soaps (a 200 ml Bioderma Shower Oil is perfect as a shower oil, hand soap, makeup or SPF remover, gentle head wash for babies).
Travelling with children can be a rewarding experience for the whole family if we plan carefully and remain flexible. Counting the days until a holiday, the excitement of a plane taking off (knowing that a lollipop is coming), natural immersion into different cultures, looking over the photos and videos we took, creating lasting memories together are some of the many joys of family travel.
By involving children in travel planning, setting realistic expectations, and prioritizing safety and responsible tourism, we can create wonderful experiences and memories that will stay with our children and us for a lifetime.
But as times are getting harder, who needs to travel far when we can have a picnic in the hallway with all our toys and go to the farm nearby? Happy travels!